Recent NY Times article The End of Courtship? says hook-up culture has replaced dating with the Millennial generation. The article quotes 34-year-old Anna Goldfarb who complains that “I’ve seen men put more effort into finding a movie to watch on Netflix Instant than composing a coherent message to ask a woman out[…]”
Michelle Adams, author of the article The New York Times Says “Courtship” is Dead: Millennials Disagree, has another explanation, pointing out that the article exclusively chronicles the cultural trends of Millennial Manhattanites. She also points out that the idea of hooking up is hardly new.
“Anecdotes serve a great way prove a point, but does not provide empirical evidence that completely convinces me we are a generation that does not date.” (Michelle Adams)
I have my doubts as well. I don’t think marriage, and/or, commitment is out of vogue just yet. The majority of Millennials adore Barack and Michelle Obama, a great model for a happy and healthy marriage. And with 59% of Millennials in support of Marriage Equality(PEW), it seems logical that these 20-somethings would consider exchanging “I do’s” themselves someday?
Adams goes on to write “moreover, researchers have found that romantic love continues to be a main staple in human’s lives.” So what do Millennials want from their romantic life? This area of life deserves reflection. If you are sure you don’t want to get married, at least consider what kind of relationship you would like eventually, if any. Even if the goal is to not be in a relationship for a very long time, at least “hook-up” with people who are on the same page as you.
Eventually, I think the hook-up pool will continue to shrink as it’s human nature to, well, age. Maybe it’s old-fashioned, but people tend to pair-off and settle down. Even if it’s haphazardly, and takes a very long time.
But what do I know, maybe extended “hook-up” culture is here to stay?
Either way, the world is changing, and it’s old news that the milestones of Adulthood are changing along with it, but that doesn’t mean your life will spontaneously find direction. Millennials, what do you want? Figure it out now.
After all “an unexamined life is not worth living.” (Socrates)